Feminine versus Masculine (Dark versus Light)

​

Often when we hear the word "dark" we think of bad or evil, something we should stay away from.

 

Yet in spirituality, the dark or black actually represents the feminine (Yin) while the light or white represents the masculine (yang).

 

Think of these energies and their connection to nature - the masculine embodies the sun or solar energy and lives within a 24-hour cycle, while the feminine embodies the moon or lunar energy and lives from a monthly cycle connected with the new, the waxing, the full and the waning moon.

 

This is how we can see that "dark" or the darkness does not actually reflect anything evil, but rather the depth and the cyclical nature that the feminine energy holds. 

​​

Who is the Dark Feminine?

​

The dark feminine energy specifically can represent the parts within us that we perhaps at times find difficult to look at or accept, such as our sensuality or sexual energy, our shadows or unconscious parts, our emotions, our power, and our authenticity or true expression.

 

It is the energy that can feel mysterious, intense and provocative but not from a state of seeking approval or attention.  The dark feminine actually embodies self-love and self-respect and so she does not need to ask for others to approve of her.

 

This is also why the dark feminine represents the part within us that is able to set boundaries and protect herself from energies that are not serving her.

 

She is the part within us that is connected to her body and her emotions, while being able to hold herself through the darkest times with self-acceptance.

 

The dark feminine holds the magic of being comfortable with the discomfort of the 'unknown' or hidden aspects of herself, which allows her to embrace challenging times in life with surrender and trust.

 

She also honours her cyclical nature and connection with the moon by not shying away from the darker times of our inner autumn (luteal phase) and inner winter (menstrual phase), as she feels into whatever needs to arise emotionally or whatever needs to be released by using these phases of her cycle as an opportunity for death and rebirth in order to continuing growing. 

​

5 Ways to Embody the Dark Feminine

​

Connect with your Body 

​

The dark feminine is "embodied".

 

She feels into her sensations and her emotions through the wisdom of the body.

 

How can you practice becoming more in tune with your body?

​

• Move your body daily - whether it is through yoga, dance, intuitive and fluid movements or stretching 

​

• Practice body scanning - check-in with how you are feeling by doing a daily body scan from head to toe, observing what you notice in terms of sensations (this is where our body can speak to us about what we might need)

​

• Centre yourself through the breath - practice regular conscious deep breathing (such as by taking 4 count inhales through the nose and 6 count exhales through the mouth)

​

• Spend more time outside in nature - the feminine is one with Mother Nature and so allowing more time to be outside with her and to hear her whispers helps build a deeper connection to your own inner guidance and intuition  

​

 

Live in the Power of Sensuality

​

Sensuality does not necessarily mean sexuality. while it does relate to our "pleasure", sensuality is more about experiencing life through the senses (seeing, hearing, feeling/touching, smelling and tasting).

 

The power of sensuality allows for a deeper connection to our body and our emotions.

 

How can you create a deeper expression of sensuality into your life?

​

• Connect with your senses - name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel or touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste (this is also a great grounding exercise when feeling overwhelmed)

​

• Purposely enjoy the pleasures of life - embrace the warmth of the sun on your skin, appreciate the smells of candles or a delicious freshly cooked meal, feel into the sensations of a loved one hugging or touching you, enjoy what you eat by really noticing the different tastes and textures, close your eyes and notice the vibrations of music pulsating through your body

​

• Explore sensual movement - put on a playlist of music that makes you feel feminine, sexy and mysterious and start moving and dancing to it intuitively by feeling into your body sensations (let the body move you, not the mind)

​

 

​​​Embrace Emotions & the Dark

​

When we can hold ourselves through the darker or more difficult times, we are able to feel the full spectrum of emotions more deeply. Without the dark we cannot have the light.

 

This is why the dark feminine encourages us to be with any emotions that arise (even the uncomfortable ones such as anger, rage, fear, shame or grief) so that we can move through them remembering our inner strength.

​

How can you allow yourself to "feel" more of your emotions and be in the dark?

​

• Notice your body sensations - emotions are felt as sensations in the body (whether it is through tensing, tingling, shaking, heaviness, warmth or cold sensations, etc.) and so by practicing becoming an observer of your bodily experiences  you can start to build a deeper awareness and understanding of your inner emotions

​

• Let yourself feel - when you notice a certain emotion arise (whether it is anger, fear, shame, grief or joy), let yourself feel it through the body such as with shaking, rocking, crying, laughing or screaming, whichever way it needs to be expressed

​

• Get comfortable with darkness - practice literally being in the darkness to become more comfortable and familiar with the idea of being in the unseen (such as by laying down in meditation with a blindfold on or sitting in a dark room or meditating outside in the darkness under the moon) 

​

• Practice self-compassion - feeling emotions is not easy when it comes to the more difficult and painful ones, and so returning to a sense of compassion towards yourself in the process is really important to build safety and self-trust with your emotions and the darkness 

​

 

Set Boundaries like a Goddess

​

The dark feminine has enough self-respect to set boundaries where needed. She values protecting her own energy and not letting others bring her down.

 

Setting boundaries requires an inner awareness of our intuition and body "gut feelings" which is why embodiment is such a crucial part in dark feminine energy.

​

How can you start to protect your own energy more?

​

• Notice your "gut feelings" - our gut feelings or intuition are sensations in the body that tell us when something feels right or something feels off, and so by becoming more aware of what our body might be telling us in a particular situation, the more we are able to know how to respond and perhaps where to set boundaries 

​

• Practice pausing before responding - there is something in the silence and respecting your own energy by not responding to other people straight away, so can you practice a "pause" to notice how you are actually feeling when someone asks something of you and to respond from a more true space (perhaps even practice saying a phrase such as "Can I get back to you" to honour this)

​

• Say "no" more often - this can be difficult especially when people pleasing patterns have been a part of our lives for survival reasons, however the dark feminine does not people please and so saying no when she means no is a form of self-love which we can build through the practice of saying "no" 

​

• Create a protective energy field - practice creating boundaries around your own energy by visualising a bubble around your body, representing a protective field so that others' energies do not enter you 

​​​​

​

Practice Surrender & Rebirth

​

Surrendering to the unknown is one of the main pieces of magic of the dark feminine. She embraces uncertainty and uses these spaces of the in-between as an opportunity for releasing what is not longer serving and growing through what we might call "rebirth".

​

How can you practice trust in the unknown & embrace the magic of rebirth?

​

• Find more moments of stillness - being in the stillness (whether it is through meditation, yin yoga, or sitting in the darkness without sound) allows us to become more familiar with softening to the idea of surrender​

​

• Embrace the unknown - whenever you find yourself in a space of uncertainty or discomfort of not knowing what is next, can you simply be with the unknown through kind self-talk and acceptance by focusing more on the present moment and what your body, emotions and soul might be needing 

​

• ​Honour your cycle - our luteal phase (inner autumn) and menstrual phase (inner winter) are opportunities to truly feel into what may need to be released in order to birth the new version of ourselves, and so by being with our emotions and reflecting in the inner autumn and inner winter (whether it is through movement, meditation or journaling) we can create more space to be comfortable with the unknown while also experiencing a "rebirth"